On the path of rediscovering myself.
When life gave me lemons I wouldn’t say I made lemonades out of them. I ate it as it is and cringed and shunned away from life.
By the time I finished high school I had the next 10 years of my life planned. But alas, As my mum says, man proposes, God disposes. Every single part of my plan went to the dustbin and here I am after almost 8 years of trying to figure out what to do with my life and also trying to recall what exactly happened in these past years, cause it feels like I have been sleepwalking through my life.
I thought that whining and wasting away my life would be my protest and counterattack to the situation and creators of the situation. But my mom’s words shook me up. She said, “ by doing all this I was not only wasting away time and life but also my individuality.” I soon learned that my friends felt the same way too.
So here I am trying to make the sour taste savoury with some salt of liveliness and some thoughts of sweetness.
I have embarked on the path of finding myself again.
The breaking point
The journey of my reversal began when I started getting back together with my friends. Previously I had avoided them to avoid one question and answer.
“What are you doing?”, to which my only answer could have been, “nothing”.
I dreaded this question being asked and almost always excused myself out of conversations whenever this question arose. Until high school, I had been a high performer and I couldn’t bear to loathe my blank life.
But, now when I decided to embrace the situation since none of it was my fault, I was totally surprised. My friends were super supportive and also encouraged me to write more. They were the ones who pointed out where my strengths lay.
When I did decide to write I did not know what to write. writing about my thoughts and feelings felt like I am loathing and lamenting(actually it still does). I have always been a jack of all trades and queen of none, so finding that one thing to write about was impossible.
I began procrastinating.
I was distracted all the time.
I had self-doubts and always thought that my efforts were going to be futile. sometimes, even though I denied it to my well-wishers, part of me had settled for this lazy life and was hesitant to do anything new.
Down this path, I had spoiled my health too. This one was a very serious mistake, and I can still not rectify it.
The Recovery Path
Now the next part might seem like another one of those motivational advertisements for a self-help book because when I first heard of the book, That’s what I commented too. I started reading this book because I had finished everything else on my bookshelf and was bored to death. The book I am talking about is the famous ‘ The Secret by Rhonda Byrne”. This book taught me mindfulness and the power of gratitude and manifestation. This helped me channel my thoughts and think about what I have and What I can do with it.
My biggest Achievement
I wrote my debut novel which was set in another country only with the help of google images and google maps.
I started applying for jobs as a content writer. Here I faced numerous rejections because I did not have any experience and also a good portfolio to flaunt.
So I had to write more and write consistently. This was another hurdle and another therefore set for the next article.
Hope you, my reader stay connected to hear my story as I grow.
If you could relate to my story, please hit follow and I would also like some insightful feedback.